When I was young the Jewish year
at my house was punctuated with three events; staying up late to break the fast
on Yom Kippur, going to an Israel Independence Day party and of course the
annual Seder Night. My memories of Seder night are particularly good, My great
aunt and uncle used to come up from Brighton, others came across London from
Hackney and my sister and I were allowed to stay up late whereas my younger
brother went to bed after dinner. My sister and I took it in turns to read
different parts of the Seder and our favourite part was deciding which one of
our family was going to be the wise, wicked, simple or son who couldn’t speak.
As I have grown up my Seder
experience is has massively changed but is still my favourite part of the
Jewish year. These days, the Seder is at my house and the people sitting round
the table are not just the people from my past but also my present and my
future. As I think about the people who are coming, make the phone calls and
send the emails, get the extra chairs down from the loft and borrow fold up
ones from the mother-in-law I think about the guests I am going to pick to be
the four children (the grown-up version has become an egalitarian one!)
The wise guest is the guest who
says “What can we do?” This guest sees themselves as part of the bigger picture;
what they can do to make the Seder a positive and meaningful experience for
everyone else? The wise guest is not necessarily the most knowledgeable or
religious but is the most open to the idea of the Seder and its meaning. The
wise child is inherently altruistic and believes that everything they do is for
the greater good.
The wicked guest is the guest who
is there solely to please others; this guest does not participate in a positive
way and will talk over others reading and not join in. By not joining in or
embracing the Seder experience the wicked guest excludes themselves from the
Seder tradition.
The simple guest is the person
sitting round the table who is dumbfounded by the whole experience. They attend
the Seder because they are invited but don’t really see the point of it all.
Moreover, they expect to be told the meaning of the Seder rather than uncover
it for themselves.
And as for the guest who doesn’t know how to
ask? This guest watches the events of the evening unfold, neither wanting to be
involved or uninvolved...they simply cannot understand what is going on and
whether that is because of the tradition or family politics is anyone’s guess.
One of the great things about Seder night is the fact that
it is one of the few things that many Jews still do. It might well be different
from the seeders of their childhoods, it might not restart after dinner, it
might involve too much wine and not much bitter herbs, but it is a Seder night and is one of the millions that takes place in
Jewish households across the world. The mixture of people that sit around my
table are my family, friends, in-laws, religious, the non-religious, non-Jews, the
people who take Seder seriously and the people who are there just to please others.
They will also be wise, wicked, simple or without a clue. But, whatever they
are they will be my guests.
In 2013, in our community, there is far more religious and
cultural diversity amongst us that ever before. This diversity becomes even
more apparent when we read the story of the four children and choose which one
of our guests represents each child. This community is full of the wise, the
wicked the simple and the Jews who cannot even ask. Each one contributes to our
changing community in different ways, some contributions are obvious. There are
members of the community who fundraise, the members who sit on synagogue
councils and boards, the members of school PSA’s, the members who stand outside
our Jewish buildings doing security. Others are less obvious, the members who
sit in the pews at synagogue, the members who continue to support local Jewish
businesses and donate to local Jewish charities. Each one of us has a different
persona... the question is... are you happy with what yours is?
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