Shaking up the Seder

Every Seder, before we begin the narrative of the Exodus story, we hear the story of four sons; the wise son, the wicked son, the simple son and the son who is unable to ask. Why do we read about these four sons? As usual different Rabbi’s have different theories on why the four sons are included in the ritual of Seder night. Some suggest that the story shows that it is a parent’s duty to ensure that the Exodus story is transmitted to all. Others state that the story of the four sons was the earliest sign of inclusion within the Jewish community and the Rabbi’s included it in the Haggadah to emphasise the duty of Jews to include all. In recent years there have been to tell the story of the four women in the Exodus story instead of the four sons and there has even been a talk of including a fifth son into the Pesach Story as the Jewish community is more diverse than ever.

However, as with all narratives and interpretations, to avoid becoming irrelevant, religious leaders have to adapt them to suit our increasingly diverse society. This year more families than ever are likely to have a non-Jewish visitor at their Seder. Families are more likely to have members of different religious observance. In fact our Seder table is more diverse than ever and I think the story of the four sons is an ideal way to complement these changes. Maimonides’s teaching that “One must make a change in the Seder (routine) on this night so that the children will take note and ask, and say “How different this night is from all other nights enables us to play with the traditional routine of the Seder. So therefore, in the spirit of change I offer you this alternative!

The Four Jewish Teens  

THE ‘WISE’ TEEN – The super engaged teen.  This teen is involved in Jewish life in every manner possible: an active participant in formal and informal programming.  This teen enthusiastically attends synagogue and youth movement events, works or is training to be a madrich/a, goes to Jewish summer camp and actively seeks out social opportunities with Jewish friends. This teen lives Jewishly not necessarily just in practice but in culture.

THE ‘WICKED’ TEEN – This teen has expressed an explicit desire not to be involved.  They saw their Bar/Bat Mitzvah as a ‘rite of passage’ party, rather than taking on the responsibilities of becoming a Jewish adult. They might go to a Jewish school but that is all being Jewish really is; something they learn about.

THE ‘SIMPLE’ TEEN – The minimally engaged teen.  This teen attends events because his/her parents want them to or their friends do, but they have little interest in what actually goes on there. This teenager does not make a concerted effort to make new Jewish friends. This teen will go to synagogue on High Holy Days or when their parent tells them to but whilst this teen is present; they’re not invested in the experience.

THE TEEN ‘WHO DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO ASK’ – The under-engaged teen.  This teen has had little opportunity to be involved in the Jewish community, and doesn't even know what is there for them.  This teen has disappeared from Jewish life because they are simply unaware of what involvement opportunities were there for them, nor were they encouraged by parents or peers to participate.