Sunday 24 March 2013

Four guests


When I was young the Jewish year at my house was punctuated with three events; staying up late to break the fast on Yom Kippur, going to an Israel Independence Day party and of course the annual Seder Night. My memories of Seder night are particularly good, My great aunt and uncle used to come up from Brighton, others came across London from Hackney and my sister and I were allowed to stay up late whereas my younger brother went to bed after dinner. My sister and I took it in turns to read different parts of the Seder and our favourite part was deciding which one of our family was going to be the wise, wicked, simple or son who couldn’t speak.
As I have grown up my Seder experience is has massively changed but is still my favourite part of the Jewish year. These days, the Seder is at my house and the people sitting round the table are not just the people from my past but also my present and my future. As I think about the people who are coming, make the phone calls and send the emails, get the extra chairs down from the loft and borrow fold up ones from the mother-in-law I think about the guests I am going to pick to be the four children (the grown-up version has become an egalitarian one!)
The wise guest is the guest who says “What can we do?” This guest sees themselves as part of the bigger picture; what they can do to make the Seder a positive and meaningful experience for everyone else? The wise guest is not necessarily the most knowledgeable or religious but is the most open to the idea of the Seder and its meaning. The wise child is inherently altruistic and believes that everything they do is for the greater good.
The wicked guest is the guest who is there solely to please others; this guest does not participate in a positive way and will talk over others reading and not join in. By not joining in or embracing the Seder experience the wicked guest excludes themselves from the Seder tradition.
The simple guest is the person sitting round the table who is dumbfounded by the whole experience. They attend the Seder because they are invited but don’t really see the point of it all. Moreover, they expect to be told the meaning of the Seder rather than uncover it for themselves.
 And as for the guest who doesn’t know how to ask? This guest watches the events of the evening unfold, neither wanting to be involved or uninvolved...they simply cannot understand what is going on and whether that is because of the tradition or family politics is anyone’s guess.
One of the great things about Seder night is the fact that it is one of the few things that many Jews still do. It might well be different from the seeders of their childhoods, it might not restart after dinner, it might involve too much wine and not much bitter herbs,  but it is a Seder night  and is one of the millions that takes place in Jewish households across the world. The mixture of people that sit around my table are my family, friends, in-laws, religious, the non-religious, non-Jews, the people who take Seder seriously and the people who are there just to please others. They will also be wise, wicked, simple or without a clue. But, whatever they are they will be my guests.
In 2013, in our community, there is far more religious and cultural diversity amongst us that ever before. This diversity becomes even more apparent when we read the story of the four children and choose which one of our guests represents each child. This community is full of the wise, the wicked the simple and the Jews who cannot even ask. Each one contributes to our changing community in different ways, some contributions are obvious. There are members of the community who fundraise, the members who sit on synagogue councils and boards, the members of school PSA’s, the members who stand outside our Jewish buildings doing security. Others are less obvious, the members who sit in the pews at synagogue, the members who continue to support local Jewish businesses and donate to local Jewish charities. Each one of us has a different persona... the question is... are you happy with what yours is?

No comments:

Post a Comment